Something Final

I thought of the name of this post and then I realized that I had another draft with the same name. I never finished that draft but it said:

"Well, I've made it...kind of. I'm at the final week of my first semester of college which can only mean one thing, finals.

This blog post is probably going to be about a bunch of nothing because I'm mostly using it to procrastinate studying but hello all!

This semester has honestly been the best 16 weeks of my life. Everyday was something different,"

2014 was truly quite some time ago. I didn't start writing this post to reflect on the passage of time, but shit like that always gets me. Like, how is it possible that my five year high school reunion is this summer? I vividly remember going to graduation. How is it possible I've almost completed a year of law school? I vividly remember applying and flying all around the country to visit.

I have no reason to sugar coat it. Law school is hard. That's not revolutionary, everybody knows that. But law school isn't hard for the reasons why you'd think it's hard. There's no rote memorization of random statutes. There's nobody ripping out the pages of library books. There's not even a "look to your left, look to your right" speech.

It's hard because it's a competition. It's hard because I'm lacking direction. It's hard because I don't care about winning.

Academics and philosophers will have you believe the law is evidence of man's excellence in being able to create a society built on justice. Spend one week in law school and you'll learn how far that is from the truth. It's no secret that the law benefits certain populations of people and harms others. People, even the Founding Fathers, are self-interested *gasp*.

Our reliance on precedent is one of the reason's why the scholars love to think the law is just. While this reliance would seemingly create semi-predictable outcomes, the lack of complete structure to fully adhere to it creates a system that more closely resembles disguised random decision making.

Wow, this wasn't supposed to be a legal system rant but here we are. I'm really lacking the motivation to study for finals. It is sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy. If I don't study that hard, I can't be disappointed if I don't do well. It's the absolute worst attitude to have but I don't know how to remedy it. The thing about first year is that it can actually define your entire future, but here I am, typing up a blogpost.

I'm starting to crave a life outside of school. A life not defined by profession. But here I am, in professional school. Oh well. I guess I ought to study for finals.